There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
