marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
