Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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