it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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