Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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