I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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