then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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