I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I puked a lego.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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