Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
