do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
