I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
