My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
