Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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