Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
what day is it and did you see me today?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
