sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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