So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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