Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
