listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
