True but thats because hes a fetus.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
