Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My ass is underappreciated
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
