I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize