Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
