Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
