Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize