It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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