Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
