would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
