Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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