Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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