Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
