I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
