i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Randomize
