I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
