Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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