You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
