Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
