If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
