hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
