So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
