So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
