A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
