I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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