we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
