whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
