i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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