I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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