Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
