I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
