come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
