yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
