i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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