Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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