Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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