I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
