The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
