I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize