This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
