But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Randomize
