Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
never play flip cup with pint glasses
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
