Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
