thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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