i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize