the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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