I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
