honey bunches of taint.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
