I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
