I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
