my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
