i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
