She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize