chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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